Do you use anger to control others and situations? To get what you want?
I was listening to the Joe Rogan Experience recently and his guest was Jim Gaffigan. During the clip here @ about the 3:15 mark Gaffigan talks about Anger & Control.
What stood out to me is when he said: “Usually when I’m angry is when I think I’m in control. I’m somehow, I’m crazy enough to think I can control the entertainment business or I can control whether my flight’s delayed…”
Unrighteous anger wants to control, to get My Way.
That statement hit me and I considered its implications for my life. And there is a lot of truth to what he said. As humans, we believe we can control people and situations with anger. We too often get angry because things aren’t going the way we want them to.
I do believe there are times we should be angry. There are two types of anger we can have – Righteous and Unrighteous. Unrighteous anger is an ‘I didn’t get my way.’ type of anger. This is like the terrible twos or a child throwing a tantrum because s/he didn’t get what they wanted.
Righteous anger has to do with being virtuous, ethical and honorable. Essentially this means we are looking out for others. Righteous anger comes out of a sense and desire for others to have equitable opportunities or to not be treated poorly. When someone is being treated poorly or unfairly, we feel a sense of obligation to right a wrong.
Unrighteous anger wants to control, to get My Way. Period, no explanation necessary. Selfishness rules in unrighteous anger.
Anger is not always a bad characteristic. Anger has brought freedom to many people. Anger has allowed equality for people. Those are good aspects of anger, the negative is also ever-present under the surface of our emotions.
What do you think? Is there a difference in Righteous and Unrighteous Anger?