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The Freedom to Choose Daily

I was reading and this line stood out to me, so I journaled. What you see here is raw journaling. If you want solid grammar, read a different post. The only filtering I have done is to leave out names of those I worked with.

Through our perception of events, we are complicit in our creation – as well as the destruction – of every one of our obstacles.
Ryan Holiday
Author The Obstacle is the Way

I decide my story every single day. I have the power to choose my attitude, my beliefs and make choices for my life. Those are mine to choose. No one else has the right or power for these except me. No matter what comes, everyday these three are mine and mine alone.

Attitude sets a tone. How do I view my wife and my girls? They do not control my perception of them, I choose it. They have their choices, and I can choose whether their choices affect my attitude towards them or the outlook on the day? My attitude is my choice no matter what others say or do.

No one can choose my beliefs. They are mine alone. I can share them and defend them, but no one can take them from me. Others can share their beliefs but that does not mean I am obligated to adopt them. I alone choose every day.

Obstacles can present themselves and I can choose my response, largely from my perception of the obstacle and based on my attitude, belief, and choice. These three are mine to control or relinquish when faced with and obstacle or opportunity in life, relationships, or business.

I recently worked with a leadership team and their VP (who is a micromanager). Pushback came from a decision the team had made. The VP wanted to have access to details of the conversation. The VP pushed, prodded, and threatened. Throughout, I had the power to choose my attitude – anger or calm; frustration or peace; fear or strength.

The truth is I my internal dialogue ranged through all these emotions plus more. Throughout the conversation the choice was mine in how I viewed the relationship with the VP. Would I give in to my attitude, thus giving away that power or choose to maintain steady and hold to what I believed would be best?

There is power in deciding your story each day.

You have the power to choose your attitude, or you can relinquish it.

You have the power of the convictions of what you believe unless you give it away.

The choice is yours daily.  

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Change is inevitable

In his book, Masterful Coaching, Robert Hargrove notes, “When most people think of learning, they don’t think in terms of having to change themselves. They tend to think of learning as … acquiring ideas, tips, techniques, and so on. Seldom does it occur to them that the problems they are facing are inseparable from who they are or the way they think and interact with other people.”

Change in life is inevitable. Problems in life come and too often stay longer than we want.

 

Learning changes who I am, not just what I think. This thought came to me after reading from Hargrove’s book. I paused to consider the books I had been reading. After going through the list of books I had finished over the previous six months, I realized I had acquired some knowledge, but what had I learned?

Did I have at least one takeaway from each book? What about teachings and trainings I had sat through. How had I grown? Was there any real change in my life based on what I was learning? Was learning even possible without action? Questions like these challenged my mind over the coming days.

I decided to go back to those books and choose at least one big takeaway from each book and write it in the front cover for easy access. Then I can easily look and see if there has been any change in my life based on my takeaway. If not, then I have work to do. If so, then I should be different in my thoughts, words, and actions towards others.

These takeaways allowed me to ‘self-coach’ toward changes I wanted to see in my life. Over time, I wanted more change so I could become the man I wanted to be in life and in business. There were problems I needed to address and knew I could not do it alone.

“When most people think of learning, they don’t think in terms of having to change themselves."
Robert Hargrove
Masterful Coaching

After some searching, I realized I needed a coach. It seemed odd to me at first that I, a coach, would need a coach in order to help me better coach others. Once I got through my circular logic, I hired one and this has changed everything for me.

Coaching is an ongoing intentional conversation that draws out a person's passion, desire or calling.

Change in life is inevitable. Problems in life come and too often stay longer than we want. Whether we are learning in a formal capacity or through living life, change is happening. You cannot get around it or escape it.

What are you learning through the changes in your life? What problems in your life are sticking around too long? If you want to experience the power of coaching, reach out to me. Allow me the opportunity to serve you. Let’s have a conversation and get you experiencing freedom in life.